Intimacy is the understanding of each others innermost worlds. Most marriages end because one or both of the partners is incapable of engaging in intimacy. Sharing your inner workings with somebody first requires a sufficient amount of self-knowledge. How can you expect someone to understand you if you dont understand yourself? You also must be fairly conversant. You must take a risk and share things that are important and embarrassing to you. Carve out time for moments of intimacy and create an environment from which intimacy will spring. You may not like who you see, but at least you will know who you are dealing with.