John Cleese and Michael Palin of Monty Python did a great sketch about a cheese shop. Mr. Mousebender (Cleese) visits “Ye Olde Cheese Emporium” in London. The shop is owned by Henry Wensleydale (Palin), described as a “Purveyor of Fine Cheese.”

After asking by name for any of several dozen cheeses and finding none, Mousebender’s expectation of “purchasing cheesy comestibles” is fading.

Mousebender: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
Wenselydale: Finest in the district, sir.
Mousebender: Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Wenselydale: Well, it's so clean, sir.
Mousebender: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

I have visited churches and trained church leaders who aspire to lead a “church of small groups.” By this, they are saying that they intend to offer a small group experience to every attender and organize all of church life around living and growing in small communities. This is not the same as being “church with small groups” in which small groups are just one option among many. The expectations for each are dramatically different.

A problem exists when something goes south between expectations and execution. I have heard lead pastors brag about their church being “of” when it was clear that they were barely “with.” I know the frustration of being on staff and serving as a volunteer in a church that set expectations for one and did the other.

It is not that one or the other is “right.” It’s just that the expectation you raise through vision-casting, announcements, story-telling, and printed materials must be met… or frustration and disillusionment will rule. The implications of this are huge. You cannot say you are going to be a “church of small groups” without implying that other competing programs may go away. People cannot do it all. Be clear about what you want them to do, and where you expect leaders to spend their time and resources.

If you expect everyone to be in a small group, your strategy, tactics, and budget will need to reflect it. You’ll have to provide training for the leaders who will lead those groups. You’ll have to care for those leaders through a coaching structure. You’ll have to provide a mechanism for people to find and join those groups.

If you promise to be the finest cheese shop in the land, you’re going to have to stock some cheese.

In the movie You’ve Got Mail, Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) explains why he expects his new Fox Books megastore to appeal to potential customers like me…

“…because we’re going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants.”

I wanted to leave the theater immediately and head over to Fox Books, but it was only a movie. Fortunately, two of my favorite places feature “cheap books and legal addictive stimulants” or else I wouldn’t spend so much time there. I have an expectation of both affordable reading materials and great cappuccino.

Of course Starbucks (or St. Arbucks, as Scott Hodge puts is) holds great appeal for those addicted to The Bean. The windy city is also the most wired and like everybody else in Chicago I expect great coffee. My expectations are usually fulfilled.

A couple of weeks ago I visited one of the world’s largest Starbucks. I ordered my Venti, non-fat, dry cappuccino. The store was exceptionally busy, and my expectations grew with the wait. Finally, I took the liquid gold to an empty table and sipped. And gagged.

The milk was hot and sweet. The foam was perfect. I expected espresso (three shots, exactly) but didn’t get any. None. My Venti was uncontaminated by coffee. My expectations were dashed.

I don’t know how many people have told me of a small group experience in which they expected one thing and got another. They wanted a bible study and got a tea party. They wanted social interaction and got a serving project. They wanted to do something tangible to make a difference, and got a mini-course in hermeneutics.  Their expectations were not met.

This is where group covenants shine… laying out the expectations for how often and how long a group will meet, how they will spend their time together, how members desire their group life to develop. It doesn’t have to be perfect or overly detailed. Usually, simple is better. But if you take the time to lay out your expectations in writing, your small group has a better chance of meeting everyone’s expectations.

Does your group have a covenant?

To be continued…

Often when I travel these days I am asked this question: What do you think about the results of the Reveal survey? The hidden question for most is the misconception that small groups or group life have been diminished in their importance as a church-wide strategy by the survey results.

There’s a fair amount of ranting and bashing in the blogosphere – just Google Reveal and you’ll see. Can't think of another resource from the Willow Creek Association that's created this much of a stir in the church. So I have taken a few weeks to mull this over – and calm down. I re-read Reveal. And here’s my takeaway.

While the group life movement is as old as the early church, it is still a fairly new strategy in the history of the church in America. Some would say it’s in a mid-life crisis, trying to decide what it wants to be and where it needs to grow next. I learned the ropes from Lyman Coleman in the 80’s and have watched the movement grow and change for more than 20 years.

I think there is much to be learned from a healthy examination of the right data. And we are at a point in the group life movement where this is necessary. Tough questions should be asked. Are we as a movement helping people grow spiritually or are we kidding ourselves? Are people closer to God as a result of small groups or just closer to each other? And are we as church leaders clear in our vision for what group life can and cannot do?

Hawkins has this to say in Reveal (page 66) – and it mirrors the findings on group life:

Weekend services are an important element in the spiritual growth of people in the early stages of the spiritual journey, but they have less value for those farther along the spiritual continuum. One of our initiatives is to extend the impact of the weekend service to meet the needs of those who are farther along the journey.

Churches should not consider giving up on group life any more than they would consider canceling their weekend services. The data calls us to grow and expand their influence - not surrender.

So the real question for me is how can we extend the impact of group life to people farther along the spiritual journey? What expression of group life will help them? How do we need to change my strategies and tactics? Where do we grow from here?

Would be curious to hear what you are doing for the people further along in the journey…what’s working for you?

Group life is not going away. Actually, they are more essential than ever in light of the move away from large classes and programs, and where young churches are meeting in homes and rented facilities. Groups of 6–10 people meeting 2–4 times a month for prayer, study, fellowship and support are still effective and valid expressions of community. Many of us know them well and have grown by leaps and bounds in such settings. They may offer what other gatherings generally cannot. A monthly neighborhood gathering is great for connection, basic sharing of resources and ideas, and serving the needs of the community. Intentional spiritual development, however, is lacking without regular connection with fewer members in an environment where deep change can be provoked and evaluated. While spontaneous connections and impromptu gatherings are essential to communal life, they do not replace the need for focused groups where spiritual guides (shepherds, leaders) can prompt growth and facilitate achievement of the group’s purpose.

Small groups provide a place for intentional personal reflection, learning spiritual practices, gaining wisdom and feedback about habits, decisions and character traits, and for building trust with a few who really know you and your story. This contribution to the kingdom remains a core expression in thriving modern and post-modern churches alike. Though the terminology and structure will vary across movements, the support and nurture provided by small group life is a common thread.

I am excited to see the role of small groups increasing as the value of communal life pervades the church. As the rising generation of leaders creates new expressions of church, new forms of group life will emerge. And I am excited to be among those who are in the midst of the change. Remember, wherever two or three are gathered…