What did you get from your dad? I picked up my love for anything mechanical from my dad. He could build anything from junk laying around the garage.

His workshop was a magical place. When Dad died in the early 90's I stood in the workshop and cried. I was surrounded by hundreds of soup cans he arranged on narrow shelves, each with a Dymo label advertising the contents... 10d nails, sheet metal screws (Phillips head), carriage bolts, pop rivets. Above the grinder table were decades of deodorant applicators, carefully washed but somehow still smelling of Old Spice. These held his drill collection. The adjustable bottoms kept all the drill tips at the same height.

Dad bought a go-kart frame when I was in 6th grade. We added a Briggs and Stratton engine from a cement mixer. He was only a little bit upset when he came home from work and found that I had completely dis-assembled the engine. We got it back together, together.

I never picked up his love for fishing and hunting, although nearly every Sunday afternoon we took a walk in the woods together. I do have his laugh... a funny way of chuckling without really smiling... like a ventriloquist laughs.

I could go on, but this blog is supposed to be about group life... which is one more thing I picked up from dad.  He and mom were Gideons (you know... a Bible in every hotel drawer) and due to a dislike of paying babysitters they used to drag me to their meetings. It's hard to remember all the details, but it seems like every couple of months we got together... a task based small group... and rotated from house to house. (I do remember that one of the couples owned a trailer park, so we met in their double-wide, the men in suits and the women in white gloves.)

And here is the part I remember best. At the end of every meeting the grownups would invite me to join the circle for what must be the Gideon Theme Song:

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian Love
The fellowship of kindred minds
is like to that above.

We all held hands and when we got to the end we'd all raise our arms (more or less... I also inherited my dad's height). Fellowship. Kindred hearts. The tie that binds. For a fourth grader in upstate New York, it seemed like that's what God designed us for.

And it still does.

What did you get from your dad?

I had dinner with a pastor and his wife today. They remarked that "once people experience a real group, they can't imagine life without one." I reflected on that a bit. My experience is similar. It is not about groups as a strategy or form or model. It is about the shared life, what Bonhoeffer described as "life together" where all are welcome, especially the weak. "The elimination of the weak is the death of the fellowship" he was prone to say.

But I have found that for that group experience to work, we need to re-educate people about relational intelligence. So many groups fail because people simply do not know how to relate as a community. Most skills in group life are simply people skills. That is why Henry Cloud, John Townsend and I put ReGroup(TM) together. You'll hear more about it soon, but we wanted to help groups be groups--listening, balancing sharing, giving each other feedback, dealing with weak and hurting members graciously, integrating truth and grace, calling the best our of each other, and so on. So we created something that a group can use while it meets to do just that.

This is the stuff of group life. It goes beyond praying and studying as formal disciplines. It is about "people-ing" so to speak. Which means facing our pain and struggles as a community. "True community begins at the edge of suffering," said one Christian leader--and I believe her. Somehow we have to get back to becoming a people who reflect the image and life of Jesus--and then groups will "work."

Later...Bill

4,980. As of this moment, that's how many people are registered for the Willow Creek Association Arts Conference this week. It will go up. My wife works in Registration Solutions and always has stories to tell about how "The dog ate my registration" and other tales of woe that need to be sorted out... but eventually all the name badges get distributed and everybody makes it into the auditorium.

Today is the last day of the week that I will be able to find a decent parking spot unless I come in at 6:00 AM. I love it.

I love running into people in the halls trying to find their way around. I love to help them, just to see the looks on their faces when they find out that they are 1/3 of a mile away from their destination... in the same building.

I love to watch people come out of the conference at the end of the day and try to find their car. They are usually so excited to get here that they pay no attention to where they park... then hours later they are simply clueless. We used to do the same thing when we came to conferences here in the '90's. (Now I've worked here for seven years and I still forget where I parked.)

I love seeing old friends. People I've sweated through ministry with or been in a small group with.

But my favorite thing... by far... is to stand in the atrium's second level and look down on table after table of groups... ministry teams from all over the place who are trying to convert their new learnings into practice. Contextualization is often difficult, but it's fun to watch folks who take ministry seriously enough to wrestle with the implications. "Here's a cool idea... how will this play at First Church?"

The blogs are abuzz... looks like a whole bunch of bloggers are going to be here... you can probably follow a lot of the conference online just by reading them.

Here's my question for you Artsy folks... what role do small groups play in your Arts ministry? How do you facilitate community for your artists?

I am travelling to Australia and New Zealand as I write this. The hunger for community here is intense. As new forms of church appear on the scene - like house churches and missional communities -- the need for group life intensifies. Virtually every emerging church I have read about or talked with employs groups in some form. It is essential to the disciplines of study, prayer, meal-sharing and serving that these communities thrive upon.

A few church leaders here in Christchurch, NZ remark that there are a lot of churches, and new plants springing up all the time. But many fizzle or are absorbed into other groups. It seems like those that are event and Sunday morning based do not thrive like the ones where a vibrant group life exists.

Well, I am off to speak about what it means to be shaped by community.

In the last post we spoke of the horror of putting on an event and having no one come. Training and connection events are an example. Here are some ideas to help keep people coming back:

1. Preparation. When people show up they should be instantly aware that you spent time getting ready for them.

This is pretty simple: Make sure the room is ready. Chairs and tables arranged. Use tablecloths. Put out flowers in the spring and little pumpkins in the fall. Put some cool music on a boom box. Candy is always a good idea (buy those little peppermints in bulk… they double as a breath mints… especially good for long meetings with close interaction.) Place handouts at each seat… anything to show that you value each person’s presence.

Start on time.

2. Surprises. Give them something to talk about.

Nothing increases attendance at your next event like people bragging about the last one. How do you create this kind of buzz? A special guest. A movie clip. A unique venue. When I was a volunteer at Granger Community Church we hosted a leadership event at the local baseball stadium. They had a banquet room/press box located above home plate. We catered a meal. 140 people showed up. They left the lights on so we could see the field. We brought in Russ Robinson from Willow and he used a lot of baseball metaphors (some of them good). We used the TV’s mounted around the room to show “leadership moment” videos. People STILL talk about it.

3. Value. Give them something practical that they can use.

You may have 90 minutes of great material, but nobody cares. Your guests will only remember three things from the evening so give them something they can use. Write them out ahead of time… what do you want them to take away? One point of your vision and a unique way they can share it with their group. One tip on how to silence a talker. One way to approach a personal issue in a one-on-one. If you will help them with their problems, they’ll come back

One last thing: food. People need to eat, and you can get a lot of mileage out of providing pizza. At Willow Creek we used to do men’s huddles right before New Community on Wednesday nights, but guys were rushing straight from work and needed something to eat. Pasta and a salad is a good investment. And garlic bread. And mints.

What do you do to keep people coming to your events?