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Ministry Connections: Students
by Bo Boshers
Volume 14 Issue 2, 2007
First Class
I’m writing this article in transit. My eldest son, Brandon, and I just boarded a plane for our flight home to Chicago. After finding my seat in coach and stowing my bag, I glance up the aisle to the first-class cabin. The flight attendant is already serving the first-class passengers — one of whom is my son. Today is his birthday. I bought him a seat in first class to remind him how special he is.
I’m wedged into a cramped seat near the back of the plane with barely enough room to write, but I couldn’t be happier. There’s just something about knowing my kid is getting the best that makes me feel good. I want my kids to feel “first class” all the time, and I’m guessing you want your kids to feel that way too.
Being a good parent is one of the toughest jobs there is. Over the course of 28 years in student ministry, I’ve seen the impact — positive and negative — that parents have on their kids. And I’ve tried to learn everything I can from other parents’ successes and failures to help my wife Gloria and me be better parents to our three kids. Some of the most important things I’ve learned about parenting came from talking with students. I’ve asked thousands of students this question: “What did your parents do right?”
Most of the time, I get one of five responses. I hope these answers will help you to become an even more effective and loving parent. So here you go …
Top Five Answers
- My parents trusted me.
- My parents listened to what I had to say and tried to understand my point of view.
- I could talk to my parents about anything without fear of judgment.
- My parents told me why they made certain decisions about the rules or boundaries I had to follow. They were consistent with their decisions.
- My parents hugged me and told me they loved me all the time. They made time just for me.
After reading these responses, take time to consider the questions below. If possible, talk them over with your spouse.
- How am I doing in each?
- What would I want my son or daughter to say if someone asked them, “What did your parents do right?”
- Ask students in your ministry what their parents did right to remind you what to focus on.
It’s hard to believe Brandon is 26 years old today. Time goes by so fast. Enjoy each season your kids are in. Don’t let the pressing demands of ministry rob you of experiencing the defining moments in your own kids’ lives. Be present and attentive and listen to what your kids have to say.
Keep your family first class.
Bo Boshers is the executive director of student ministries for the Willow Creek Association
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