Connections: Parenting Challenge is No Kids' Stuff
by Steve Bell

Volume 14 Issue 2, 2007

Right before we went to press with this issue, I had an interesting conversation with Paul Braoudakis, our executive editor. Paul is only days away from being a first-time father and he was telling me how he was reading this particular issue with much more than just an editor’s eye. He was, instead, mining the stories for nuggets of wisdom, looking for anything that would give him a head start into what will surely become his life’s most important mission.

That got me thinking: Christian parents will search just about anywhere to find the answers to such questions as “What is the best way to teach our children about God?” and “How can we help shape our children in the faith?” Oh, that we could find a guaranteed approach for spiritualizing our kids!

This I state plainly and with utter confidence: There are no guarantees! As long as God honors free will, there will never be guarantees. That’s why Christian parents can still have children who reject the faith.

When I was growing up, whenever we’d hear that someone was a “PK” — a preacher’s kid — there was an unspoken stigma that went along with it: Wow, I bet he’s messed up. Unfortunately, not much has changed today. That stigma — whether fair or unfair — still follows children of pastors and church leaders. Even so, parents are not impotent when it comes to their children’s faith.

Parents matter. They really matter! Parents, whether they are pastors or plumbers, are far more influential in a child’s faith development than most realize. To a great extent, they are the number one defining factor in a child’s ability to embrace God. Parents and children are so intimately linked spiritually that you cannot talk about a child’s faith without also talking about the faith of the parent. Bottom line: Spiritually aware parents help a child shape to faith more than any other factor.

As the leader of a growing church, you must ask if your church is taking seriously the parenting challenge. Are you spending as much time in building into parents as you are into your children’s ministries? In this issue, we have devoted many pages to this vital subject. We’ve talked to statisticians, pastors, parenting specialists, authors, and columnists, trying to unearth the crucial elements that will help our churches — and our homes — produce well-adjusted, God-honoring families (page 5). We’ve leaned in to some high-profile Christians and asked them their best-learned lessons on parenting (page 23). And we’ve tried to span the spectrum from childhood (page 10) all the way through high school (page 15). If you’re feeling particularly courageous, check out the spread on page 26 where students reveal what they really want their parents to know.

Faith formation in kids is never just about the kids. Parents, for better or worse, are joined to their children at the faith hip. One’s growth stimulates the other. One’s pain hurts the other. We ultimately travel the faith journey together. But whether or not children get much out of the trip depends on how skilled their parents are at pointing out the markers, how expertly they recognize the signs of the ways God works, and whether their own strength holds strong when the trip becomes frightening.

We hope this issue of WILLOW will inspire you and perhaps relight the fire and awe that currently resides in our executive editor!

Steve Bell is executive vice president of the Willow Creek Association for Events and Membership and co-author with his wife, Valerie, of the book Faith-Shaped Kids.

Back to Top >        WCA News Overview >